Tag - Fortune Cookie

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Friday, March 22 2019

Eye for Tooth

Fortune Cookie: Joe sat as his dying wife's bedside. Her voice was little more than a whisper. "Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make before I go. I ... I'm the one who took the $10,000 from your safe... I spent it on a fling with your best friend, Charles. And  […]

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Tuesday, February 12 2019

Three Bagger!

Fortune Cookie: three-bag ugly, adj: That's when you put one bag over her head, one bag over your head in case her's falls off, and one over the dog's to keep it from howling. four-bag ugly, adj: When you leave a bag by the door in case someone drops by.  […]

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Tuesday, January 8 2019

Ummmmmm

Worst Response To A Crisis, 1985: From a readers' Q and A column in TV GUIDE: "If we get involved in a nuclear war, would the electromagnetic pulses from exploding bombs damage my videotapes?"   Ya think?

Friday, December 14 2018

Fortune

Fortune Cookie: I didn't order any WOO-WOO ... Maybe a YUBBA ... But no WOO-WOO!  […]

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Friday, November 9 2018

Might be late...

Fortune Cookie: One of the regular foursome was sick, so a new member named George filled in. He was good and pleasant company so they asked him to join them again the following Sunday. "9:30 okay?" "Fine," George said, "but I may be a few minutes late." The following  […]

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Tuesday, October 30 2018

Get Up And Went

Fortune Cookie: I get up each morning, gather my wits. Pick up the paper, read the obits. If I'm not there I know I'm not dead. So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed. Oh, how do I know my youth is all spent? My get-up-and-go has got-up-and-went. But in spite of it all, I'm able to grin, And  […]

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Wednesday, October 17 2018

The Fifth

Fortune Cookie: THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #18: FIFTH FIFTH is a precision mathematical language in which the data types refer to quantity. The data types range from CC, OUNCE, SHOT, and JIGGER to FIFTH (hence the name of the language), LITER, MAGNUM and BLOTTO. Commands refer to  […]

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